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Topics - Howard19

Pages: [1]
1
WarZone / Be aware
« on: November 19, 2012, 02:53:27 PM »
Over a year ago I tryed and thought I would help a guy from this site, He broke his motor on the big river trip ,I gave him a motor and said he can pay me as soon as he could ,I also sent a tee valve and block off plates and a good set of headers .       Well still no money and I found out he sold the boat and got a rock crawler. Talked with him a few times he told me how things sucked job change and so on just alot of crap  iam out 650.00 I ve held out posting anything for along time  so FYI Daniel your on notice or as most know him as willowwog sorry guys dont be to nice . Daniel you will be contacted when you least exspect it

2
Lake Havasu / First Race on the 20th
« on: October 10, 2012, 09:33:41 AM »
We tested on the street at the shop last night runs strong and sounds great with the new motor Randy at Jet Boat Plus built for us

3
Engine Mechanical / Electrical / new motor by Jet Boat Plus in Havasu
« on: September 14, 2012, 08:20:09 AM »
Well Randy and Matt at Jet Boat Plus in Lake Havasu City dont just build horsepower for boats
they build motors for other things to, This is a street stock car we are putting together for interstate batterys
got some good #s on the dino and this will put this car in the front . ;D
both of thease guys have gone over and above ,taking part in the assembly process of the car also
     

                               GREAT JOB MATT AND RANDY  :thumbup: :beer:
                       

4
The No Wake Zone / rectum strecher
« on: September 08, 2012, 07:42:02 AM »
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a
bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what?............

'A rectum stretcher!'

'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then
work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand
in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly
but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked

'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge.
 

Traffic Ticket $398.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face....... PRICELESS
For everything else, there's MasterCard

5
The No Wake Zone / jokes
« on: August 16, 2012, 03:56:57 PM »
A doctor from  France  says:

"In France , the medicine is so advanced that we

cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another

man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."


The German doctor comments:

"That's nothing, in  Germany   we take part of the

brain out of a person; we put it into another person's

head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."


A Russian doctor says:

"That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of

the heart from a person; we put it into another

person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking

for work."


The U.S. doctor answers immediately:

"That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind

us....in the  USA , about 3 years ago, we grabbed

a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and

no balls....we made him President of the United

States, and now....... the whole damn country is

    looking for work."

6
The No Wake Zone / Are we really that stupid
« on: August 08, 2012, 09:02:53 AM »
So very funny

 
This is just another guy thingy........who said in the first place we men were smart?
Smiley
 
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
 
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
 
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affects on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, Id get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
 
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldnt be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
 
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, If I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another.
 
The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while Im looking at this little device measuring about 5 long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really and thinking to myself, no possible way!
 
What happened next is almost beyond description, but Ill do my best. Im sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, Dont do it stupid, reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldnt hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE...!!!
 
Im pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
 
Note: if you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I cant be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
 
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 pounds. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. Im still looking for my testicles and Im offering s significant reward for their safe return!
 
PS: My wife cant stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!!
 
 
 
 

7
WarZone / sold parts
« on: April 19, 2012, 04:30:06 PM »
Its really sucks when you trust people and you get screwed .
  In good faith I sold a motor to a member last summer thinking I would get my cash over the winter so I could used it for my machine work on my block ,
His boat runs but mine dont so now I have to break out the floatys .
 guys beware when selling parts get your money at time of pick up, even from members it really sucks
 that integerty is lost     What really sucks is I have to look at the lake every day and no friggen boat 



       Sorry just pichen a bitch

8
WarZone / Happy birthday Ralph
« on: August 26, 2011, 05:23:06 AM »
Have a nice day hope you can injoy the old age  :beer:

9
WarZone / United States Postal Service
« on: August 12, 2011, 07:10:42 PM »
The United States Postal Service will be short $5.5 Billion this year and will not be able to fund pensions.
To make up this shortfall, the USPS introduces the Barak Obama stamp thinking it would boost the USPS income by $8.8 Billion. It was a complete failure as the stamps would not stick to the letters.
When the USPS did an investigation on why the stamps would not stick, they found that most people were spitting on the wrong side.

10
Projects / Here ya go Ray
« on: July 20, 2011, 08:35:11 AM »
hope this works
 sale-hwjar-2500073361@craigslist.org

11
Engines / Engine Parts For Sale / testing the waters
« on: July 15, 2011, 07:57:12 AM »
I have chance at a cheby so if anyone needs old 455 parts I have alot of olds stuff new and used
only reason is to purchase new motor for my howard  in havasu 928-846-4709 Harry

12
The No Wake Zone / does Ray buy the hydro
« on: April 18, 2011, 07:01:23 PM »
Does he or dont he >:D :screwy: :thumbup: :beer:

13
Random Boat Parts For Sale / MONKEY GLASS
« on: April 15, 2011, 09:29:55 AM »
Hey guys have a guy here in havasu that does windsheilds and splash gaurds and more prices are best ive found
He does it for magic boats cougar and alot of other companys  Its called  MONKEY GLASS his name is Chris #928-855-2022  just a FYI  :D

14
The No Wake Zone / bang head
« on: April 12, 2011, 12:12:36 PM »
So every morning I get to My shop here in Havasu ,The first hour I hear nothing but pure HORSEPOWER running across the lake and all I can think of is getting my boat running . Its killing me ,But when it is done I know I can play before work and after work .talk about motivation  :banghead:
and its Matts falt LOL :o

15
The No Wake Zone / japland prayers
« on: March 11, 2011, 03:16:04 PM »
Havent been able to get it touch with our son in atsugi japan to see whats up and if he is good    we would have been in touch through facebook but he has not been on . He is suppose to come home on the 21 on leave and introduce us to our grandchild we didnt know about  5 years old now  :banghead:

16
Engines / Engine Parts For Sale / Olds 425 motor
« on: January 04, 2011, 11:17:25 AM »
I have a complete 425 olds for sale 1000.00 928-846-4709

17
Random Boat Parts For Sale / 455 parts
« on: December 31, 2010, 06:47:30 AM »
picking up a kachina with a 455 a berk pump parts availible let you know whats there later today 



Harry

18
WarZone / We missed Nordies Birthday I think ??dec 7
« on: December 08, 2010, 03:31:47 PM »
If so dam kids getting old LOL   happy belated bud hope it was a good one  :thumbup: :beer:

19
WarZone / Pray for our troops
« on: November 26, 2010, 10:13:01 AM »
Feeling the nerves  of war  ,  Our oldest son is off the coast of Korea  On the USS Gorge Washington . Was not able to speek to him because he is on full alert in Korea . Let me tell you this is a very tough time for his mother at this point . so Pray for all men and women fighting to keep our freedom  :banghead: :thumbup:

20
Lake Havasu / new shop
« on: November 12, 2010, 12:35:42 PM »
Opened the door today  Import Auto works  928-846-4709  Lake Havasu City  AZ   ;D

21
I/O's / Hey GT Bravo 1 ??????
« on: September 25, 2010, 07:42:02 PM »
Took boat out today  started overheating so shut it down and drifted got a tow back to winser ramp .? is  does bravo 1 have a empleller in the outdrive or do you  only have the water pump on the motor ,did a # on the boots on the risors to the Y pipe .Why would it not suck water for coolling sytem ,It worked good last weekend  :banghead: ??? :(

22
Projects / Free ski
« on: September 11, 2010, 09:49:37 AM »
I have been given a 98 TS 1000R  Tigershark jet ski 72mph ski   
Heads are off cyclinders are great .going to put it back together  .Ill post some pic later today  ;D

23
The No Wake Zone / whats your local wheather
« on: August 29, 2010, 07:29:14 AM »
sun - Havasu   now 71 with a high of 99 at 5pm mild breez  whats yours ;D

24
Lake Havasu / havasu
« on: July 24, 2010, 12:37:02 PM »
well moved down here and loving the fact that I can play on the lake anytime I want to .   not to rub it in .......NOT  ;D :-* :-*

25
WarZone / Moving
« on: July 01, 2010, 05:42:08 PM »
Moving to LHC and have got to get the phantom hull out of the yard I have the pink any body wants it bring a trailer and its yours

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