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Topics - Toes on the Nose

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Project Boats For Sale / '78 Ranger 20' open bow...... gotta go
« on: October 18, 2009, 07:24:12 PM »
Hey guys...... due to my financial situation with the divorce/bankruptcy/loss of home... etc..... this thing has to go!
20' open bow, Volvo/Penta 280 I/O, small block 302 (not running).... original interior and gelcoat. Bimini top is in great shape. This boat has been sitting for a couple years now and with my recent problems, I don't have anywhere to keep it and will probably never get it running again. I'm asking $2500 obo...... money talks... this thing has to go. It's also sitting on its original '78 Roadrunner tandem axle trailer..... email is or call me at (310) 951-0126. The boat is in Torrance for two weeks after that, I have to haul it out to Colton to a freinds house for temporary storage.

Lake Havasu / WTF?????
« on: June 21, 2009, 07:07:24 PM »
I was out onHavasu yesterday..... choppy as I've ever seen iout there.... could've sworni was on the way to Catalina at 3pm..... my question is can anyone explainthe obscene amount of dead fish that were floating in the lake?????...  we launched at Windsor and everything was cool..... heading out of the no-wake zone I noticed two floaters.... good sized ones. Didn't really think anything of it. Then as we headed toward trhe river mouth, I mustlve seen about a dozen or so on the way.... went to Topockj Marina for lunch then on the way back as we got to the river mouth the fish were everywhere..... at one point the smell was so strong that we couldn't get out of there fast enough. As we headed out to the lake we saw an enormous pile of dead fish that had just sort of piled up in one spot..... it was disgusting!!!! I'd never seen anything like that before. Anyone got an explanation besides beerjet farting in the lake????

Events / V-Drive Regatta at Irvine Lake
« on: June 05, 2009, 04:13:26 PM »
I think it's in a couple weeks....... anyone going??

Lake Havasu / just got back!!
« on: May 10, 2009, 07:05:18 PM »
Just rolled in from a couple days at Havasu..... Saturday was perfect.... we were on the water by 10am and the lake was pretty flat and smoothe.... went down to Parker and then headed the other way to Topock for lunch..... coukdn't have asked for better weather. Conditions got a little choppier on the lake by the time we returned. will be back there for the 4th of July. my friend has a condo in LHC and we always launch at Windsor

The No Wake Zone / Boat Show
« on: February 06, 2009, 05:07:54 AM »
Just curious...... is anyone goin to the LA show this weekend??

The No Wake Zone / Tools, Explained
« on: January 06, 2009, 09:17:09 AM »

  DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
 flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
 chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the
 freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner
 where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
 under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints
 and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you
 to say, 'Oh sh -- '
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their
 holes until you die of old age.
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
 of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
 principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
 motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
 dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
  heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
  intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
 flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the
 grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
 projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground
 after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack
 handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops
 to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit
 into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of
 the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength
 of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under
lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil  on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out
Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used
 to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and
 butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
 bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
 is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts
 adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
 cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
 well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic
 bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic
 parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in
DAMM-IT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage
 while yelling 'DAMM-IT' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most
 oft en, the next tool that you will need.   


The No Wake Zone / Merry Christmas
« on: November 23, 2008, 09:36:56 AM »
  wanted to give everyone a heads up that if you tend to give gift
cards around the holidays, you need to be careful that the cards will
not be honored after the holidays.

Stores that are planning to close after Christmas are still selling the
cards through the holidays even though the cards will be worthless
January 1. There is no law preventing them from doing this. On the
contrary, it is referred to as 'Bankruptcy Planning*.

Below is a partial list of stores that you need to be cautious about.

Circuit City (filed Chapter 11)

Ann Taylor 117 stores nationwide closing

Lane Bryant

Fashion Bug

Catherine's to close 150 stores nationwide

Eddie Bauer to close stores 27 stores and more after January

Cache will close all stores

Talbots closing down specialty stores

J. Jill closing all stores (owned by Talbots)

Pacific Sunwear (also owned by Talbots)

GAP closing 85 stores

Footlocker closing 140 stores more to close after January

Wickes Furniture closing down

Levitz closing down remaining stores

Bombay closing remaining stores

Zales closing down 82 stores and 105 after January

Whitehall closing all stores

Piercing Pagoda closing all stores

Disney closing 98 stores and will close more after January

Home Depot closing 15 stores 1 in NJ ( New Brunswick )

Macys to close 9 stores after January

Linens and Things closing all stores

Movie Galley Closing all stores

Pep Boys Closing 33 stores

Sprint/Nextel closing 133 stores

JC Penney closing a number of stores after January

Ethan Allen closing down 12 stores

Wilson Leather closing down all stores

Sharper Image closing down all stores

K B Toys closing 356 stores

Loews to close down some stores

Dillard's to close some stores

WarZone / Her diary............. His diary.........................
« on: October 09, 2008, 03:28:21 PM »
HER DIARY: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep and I cried. I don’t
know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster…

HIS DIARY: My Harley wouldn’t start today, but at least I got laid.

The No Wake Zone / New Presidential Candidate... It's someone we know!
« on: October 06, 2008, 06:41:40 PM »

There's an effort to elect an unknown random person as President... and it's someone we know! Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee:

The No Wake Zone / Representin'
« on: October 04, 2008, 09:34:33 PM »
today at the Sarah Palin Rally @ the Home Depot Center....... very cool!!!!!

WarZone / Lesbonics
« on: September 02, 2008, 04:18:27 PM »

1 What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? .
A licker cabinet..

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? ...
A Klondyke.

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? ..
Militia Etheridge.

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? ..
Fur Traders.

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? ....
A Lickalotapuss.

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
Well Hung.

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned? .
She was found face down in Ricki Lake .

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? ....
Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

10. What do you call lesbian twins? ...

11. What's the definition of confusion? ...
Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.

13. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers?
100 people that don't do dick.

The No Wake Zone / Toughest day ever...........
« on: August 23, 2008, 07:26:41 AM »
Monday Aug 18th at 1:05 am I watched my father take his final breath. He was 76. I was with my mother, my sister and my wife. My brother was about ten minutes too late as he had to drive all the way from Corona. My dad was a tough old bird and was very conservative. He came to the USA from Cuba in 1959 to escape communism. He was a military police officer in cuba for nine years.
Two years after arriving here he was recruited for a little thing now known as "Operation Mongoose" or what would be known later as the Bay of Pigs Invasion. He was captured after four days of fighting and imprisoned for two years. Thank you JFK. I'm gonna miss him alot we talked every day and he only lived a couple miles from me. I've spent this week helping mother tie up some loose ends.
My father was raised Catholic but had no respect for the church with the recent problems they had with priests and the sex scandals. My father absolutely hated the Pope, especially after he visited Cuba and shook hands with Fidel Castro, who in 1968 abolished all religion from the island and sent away every member of the clergy. As I said...... my father detested hipocrisy. last day on earth, he refused communion and did not want last rites. He said that he had a relation with God and didn't need anyone to verify it for him...... he will be missed by many.


The No Wake Zone / Where's the pics??
« on: August 05, 2008, 10:45:05 AM »
Sorry guys.... couldn't make the races this weekend as I had family visiting from out of town.
Looking forward to seeing all the cool pics though............................


The No Wake Zone / Havasu was Great!!!
« on: July 06, 2008, 01:04:23 PM »
Just got back from Havasu....... had a blast and no incidents to speak of except for the sunken open bow that was doing the Shamu at windsor beach.

WarZone / Good one!!
« on: June 02, 2008, 06:09:32 PM »
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared
it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. < /P>

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct..... .leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,
last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.


SoCal Lakes / WTF
« on: January 05, 2008, 08:52:30 AM »
I just couldn't stand to see this thread empty........ does this qualify me for post-whore status?

or is that clearly beerjet's domain??

I/O's / Am I the only one???
« on: December 31, 2007, 09:02:35 PM »
The only stern driver at SCJB.......... presently a project, but I hope to have a repower by the late spring or early summer

Arcade / Superman Game
« on: December 28, 2007, 08:59:48 PM »
My best score is a 59............. This should be right up Chromey's alley

WarZone / pregnant Spears
« on: December 19, 2007, 01:06:34 PM »
Britney's little 16 year old sister is knocked up......... how low-rent-white-trash can u get???

The Irony?????.......... Her mom is writing a "parenting book"

WarZone / Kevin Dubrow
« on: November 26, 2007, 08:31:21 PM »
Lead singer of Quiet Riot found dead in his Las Vegas home............ WTF?

The No Wake Zone / Thanksgiving Quiz
« on: November 11, 2007, 10:40:35 PM »
I got 11 right........................ good luck

Gelcoat / Paint / Fireberglass Repair / WTF is this????
« on: November 10, 2007, 03:13:42 PM »

The No Wake Zone / HUH???
« on: October 30, 2007, 06:47:08 PM »

The No Wake Zone / World Series ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
« on: October 24, 2007, 03:23:48 PM »
Game one tonite....... Go Red Sox Nation!!!!
I'd be crackin' one open if I didn't have to drive tonite........................

you drink and i'll drive

|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^| |^^^^^^^^^^^^^| ||
| .....BIGGER ......._____| | ...BEER TRUCK.....| ||´|";,___.
|_..._...__________/====|_..._..._______==|=||_|__|..., ] -
"(@)´(@)"""´´" *|(@)(@) "(@)´(@)"""´´"*|(@)(@)****(@)

The No Wake Zone / C'mon Friday!!!!!!!!!
« on: October 03, 2007, 01:36:43 PM »
Headin to Laughlin!!!  Woo Hoo  ;D

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