We need a jump off 
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I'm in but I'll need a stretcher at the landing spot instead of a ramp   

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Who has a 20" Schwinn Sting-Ray?  
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Do I know you? When I jumped those 7 kids I was riding a 20" Sting Ray that I had converted to a dirt bike years before. It used to have a 5 speed stick shift.   

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Brad can you arrange this for the next gathering? 
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Oh sh!t, I can't wait to see the award... 

... Would this be considered a thread jack? 

No because it's posted in the No Wake Zone