SoCal Jet Boats

Discussion => The No Wake Zone => Topic started by: IRRebel on June 01, 2011, 09:15:06 PM

Title: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: IRRebel on June 01, 2011, 09:15:06 PM
My Mommy sent me this!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S.PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans:  As you all know, the defeat of the   Iraq regime has been completed.

Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission inAfghanistan is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Afghanistan.  This action will be complete within 30 days.  It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists.  One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Afghan conflict..  This list is short.  The   United Kingdom,   Spain,   Bulgaria, Australia, and   Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list.  Most of the world's nations are on that list.  My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Afghan war. THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER IT'LL GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world "Hell Holes" and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine?  Wrestling with an epidemic?  Call   France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social  problems we still have at home.  On that note, a word to terrorist organizations.  Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize?  Try Franceor maybe   China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, and   Russia.  Thanks for all your help, comrades.  We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York Cityto begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in   Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded, and crushed.  I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this.  You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love   New York.

A special note to our neighbors:   Canada is on List 2.  Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.  I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around.  Guess where I am going to put 'em?  Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United Statesis abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.  Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.  If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above:  pick a country and move there.

It is time for Americato focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin!"

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.  It is time to eliminate hunger in America.  It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought.  Thank you guys.  We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought:  You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America.  Thank you and good night.

If you can read this in English, thank a soldier.

Title: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: lbhsbz on June 01, 2011, 09:22:58 PM
Right on!
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: 77GT on June 02, 2011, 04:43:37 AM
Well said.

Unfortunately, there is not a politician who has the stones to actually do this.
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: thompy on June 02, 2011, 05:53:50 AM
mabey Ron Paul
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: Your Mom on June 02, 2011, 06:22:07 AM
I think you ment Rupaul.....
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: farmergord on June 02, 2011, 04:39:23 PM
I guess then you wont want anymore of our oil or hydro electric power which you still owe us millions California. us piss you off ya right.just for the record there are 28300 Canadians troops in Afghanistan and we have lost 155
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: logans runner on June 02, 2011, 04:48:28 PM
Yeah what Gord said!!!!!
We have put more than our share into the game.
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: IRRebel on June 02, 2011, 05:35:13 PM
LOL! I figured that'd get Gord all riled up!  ;)

But YEAH, FOCK THE FORNICANS!!!!.......WAit......... :sly:

LOL!

Ray
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: svssr95 on June 02, 2011, 06:00:19 PM
My Mommy sent me this!



New Sig line?
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: Nordie on June 02, 2011, 06:42:01 PM
I find myself really agreeing with about 99% of this, but like it was said no one has the balls!
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: Howard19 on June 02, 2011, 07:57:02 PM
Gordy you know we got your back bud ;) :beer:
I guess then you wont want anymore of our oil or hydro electric power which you still owe us millions California. us piss you off ya right.just for the record there are 28300 Canadians troops in Afghanistan and we have lost 155
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: farmergord on June 02, 2011, 09:21:19 PM
could you really tell that pissed me off  >:D
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: IRRebel on June 02, 2011, 09:41:44 PM
could you really tell that pissed me off  >:D

LMAO, Gord, that wasn't aimed at you or any other of our Canadien friends,

I didn't even realize when I posted it that it mentioned you folks, BUT, foot coming out ready to insert in mouth,  Anyone remember the South Park Movie???  "Canada has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions........"

Take it tongue in cheek brother!  Love ya like I was related to ya!  :thumbup:

Ray
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: farmergord on June 02, 2011, 09:44:53 PM
LMAO, Gord, that wasn't aimed at you or any other of our Canadien friends,

I didn't even realize when I posted it that it mentioned you folks, BUT, foot coming out ready to insert in mouth,  Anyone remember the South Park Movie???  "Canada has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions........"

Take it tongue in cheek brother!  Love ya like I was related to ya!  :thumbup:

Ray

actually thought we apologized for Celine Dion   no sweat Ray the 16 hour days are catching up to me and we have been fighting bad weather for a month and are way behind on work
Title: Re: The Press release you'll never see..........
Post by: IRRebel on June 02, 2011, 09:49:43 PM
Dude, what you do, and how your big ass does it day in, day out, day after day, I'll never understand. But I will ALWAYS respect and support you for doing it!  :thumbup:

Did not mean to offend, It was all meant to be funny!

I guess I should just keep making fun of the Messicans............Since I live with them, they don'r speak the language, and have no idea I'm making fun of them,,,,,,, :screwy:

Ray
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