Me and Hallet Dave, RELUCTANTLY, answered Rivertard's pitiful plea to help an animal who was drowning. 'Tard's exact words were "you guys are animal lovers aren't you? This cow is gonna drown without help." Now I admit that I kinda went out for the curiosity factor of how does a cow get in the river in the first place factor BUT I was not expecting the show on the beach. Laugh all you want, but it was me that had to explain "the show" to my 6 and 9 yr old boys.
Honestly the hardest part to explain was Gabe. Dude ain't right, that's all I gotta say. My kids seen plenty of naked people(we spend a lot of time at San Onofre), but never seen a cow so pissed off that it tries to drill a dumb ass human into the ground.

"Dad, why is that guy trying to ride an angry cow? You can tell it doesn't want him on it's back." I know son, but drunk peeps do strange things.