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DOZZR

  • Karma: +2/-0
who has funniest boating story ?
« on: December 26, 2007, 12:59:20 PM »
I live just a few miles from lake casitas, just about every evening the lil woman and I go out and do a little fishing, watch the sunset, unwind ect. Anyway we are back in a cove one evening she gets a little frisky and isn't going to take "later its cold" for an answer. The problem here is its colder than a witches titty and the breeze is coming in ass first and she picks the deck for the evenings fiesta. Well all was going fine til a breeze whipped up some ice cold mist and about frostbit my nutz. That was the end of it, I had no control over it from that point on, she looks up at me puzzled and asks whats the problem. I humbly explain that ice cold buns/nutz and stiffies dont mix well with a cold wet breeze. She looks up thinks for just a second, then tells me to check out my fishing pole, giggles then says you might be getting a bite, and if so then that'll give me a hard-on for sure !!!......... buck naked, colder than shit, embarrased, I still lauged til my guts hurt.  ;D
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Do it once it's a mistake,
do it twice you're a fool !

454Rocket

  • Karma: +2/-0
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2007, 03:46:36 PM »
That's alright... I had an audience once at the Nautical Inn. The security guard was nice enough to shine his spotlight on us so everyone could enjoy. Oh, im glad I have a closed bow once again! ;)
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hotrod56cars

  • Karma: +1/-8
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2007, 06:52:15 PM »
Here's mine, no sex but it's funny asssed sh!t.

http://www.socaljetboats.com/index.php/topic,1104.0.html
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NO REGRET$ ... Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics / no matter how good you do you're still retarded!!!!!

                                                          1978  19' Mach 1 Tunnel jet

Warlock

  • Karma: +6/-0
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2007, 08:10:43 PM »
It's NO contest! ;D There two...My personal favorite...The Marc and TheChaz El Capitan thread!  ;D ;D
http://www.socaljetboats.com/index.php/topic,766.0.html
And The Chaz's encore El Capitan part 3 ;D ;D
http://www.socaljetboats.com/index.php/topic,1000.0.html
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h2oicon

  • Karma: +3/-0
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2007, 10:07:37 PM »
how this, strap on the seat belt for this, remember blower on for 15 sec prior to starting engine. well in 1986 several people and myself went to havasu, first mistake letting someelse fill boat fuel with out me being there, they topped tanks and spilled it in boat behind the side interior. next blower was on from the time we were in line to launch about 10 min if not more boat in water they push me back away from trailer floating with no power, i turn key and the f*ckin rear engine cover does a shuttle lift off and fire every where side tanks are burning and everyone on dock yelling to jump, well no way this captain is going down with ship. i grap the extingusher and shot the crap everywhere except near the carb. smoke everywhere but fire out now. what next tie it to dock look at everything no hatch its blown to smitherines checked everyhting else and the fish cop comes up to ask for regs and license and i turned the key again and it starts, get a ticket, and had fun the rest of weekend until a monsoon hits and swamps the bitch on shore. to bad lost that boat in divorce. lucky i was the only person in the boat when i lit the fuse, or maybe the ex thought this is how to collect. HMMMMMMMMMMMM
  • Boat #1: 1984 eliminator 30ft off shore
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Quickjet

  • Karma: +7/-0
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2007, 06:43:38 PM »
It's NO contest! ;D There two...My personal favorite...The Marc and TheChaz El Capitan thread!  ;D ;D
http://www.socaljetboats.com/index.php/topic,766.0.html
And The Chaz's encore El Capitan part 3 ;D ;D
http://www.socaljetboats.com/index.php/topic,1000.0.html
By far the best!!!
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Nordie

  • Karma: +13/-0
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2007, 07:15:55 PM »
the chaz and marcs story made me lay in the fetal posistion and soil myself funny stuff there
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If im not posting..I'm pooping!

Jetaholic

  • Karma: +3/-0
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2007, 07:31:30 PM »
I don't suppose I ever posted the story about the first test drive of my boat after I rebuit it.

Pine Flat Lake, weekend before Labor Day

A buddy of mine who owns a Spectra 20' Jet copy (made by Cheyenne) was my spotter boat. Him, his son and I went up to the lake the night before. We parked the truck and launched his boat (his boat had lights a quite a bit of sleeping room) and decided to camp out on the lake. I brought a 5th of Jack for the occasion...his son fell asleep early while we drank beer and passed the bottle back n' forth. We finished a good 5/8 of the bottle that night...speedin' up and down the lake an' whatnot. Ran out of smokes that night and the marina didn't open until 8AM the next morning. Oh well...time to go to sleep.

Next morning we wake up...it's about 7AM. We go back to the dock and get my boat...as I'm backing it in the water there's a bunch of fisherman who were out on a tournament waitin' in the channel to recover. My header pipes facing them with no baffles in them I'm thinkin' "Oh they're gonna love this shit!" Fire it up...motor sounds nice, strong and healthy. He gets in his boat...I'm still buzzed from the night before, but I do a couple more shots and grab my beer and we idle out. As soon as we hit the end of the no wake zone, I hit it.

Get on plane at a pretty good speed...look back and I had my buddy damn good on the hole shot. Then I look at the speedometer..."That's only 30!? Phock that!" Punch it....40...45...50....55...get it up to about 62...surprisingly the boat feels very stable at that speed. Hauled ass to the marina....by that time they were open and I could buy more smokes.

I get there and tie up to the fuel dock...that was the only place to park. My buddy finally gets there and he's all "What you replacing the gas you burned gettin' over here!?" He was shocked at the performance of my boat...he told me he knew there were jet boats that could do that, he's just never seen one do it.

In any event, I get my smokes, do another shot and we head out. End of the no wake zone...hit it. I'm haulin' ass...doin' turns and what not...straighten out...figured we'd head for windy gap. All of a sudden...a huge amount of water rushes to the front of the boat.

WTF!!!??? I was hoping I had just blown a hose off cause that would've been easily fixable. However, my luck I look back over the engine and I see this crack at the top part of the suction housing! OH SHIT!!! I turned the bilge pump on and drove back to my buddy. "Dude we gotta go back to the dock...my pump's cracked...I'm sinking!" Well he had already run out of gas on one of his tanks and couldn't figure out how to switch over to the other one. He tells me to just drive back to the dock and he'll meet me there.

So I'm driving back...boat porpoising like a mufuka...about halfway there the engine completely dies. Wake swamps over back of the boat...as if I didn't already have enough water coming in as it was. There I am...dead in the water...water coming in faster than the bilge pump could pump it out...no other boats on the water. OH MY GOD $30,000.00 WORTH OF MY WORK IS ABOUT TO BE AT THE BOTTOM OF PINE FLAT!!! All I could do was grab a flare and my air horn and go stand on the front of the boat and hope I can delay the sinking of it. I stood right on the tip of the bow, lit off the flare and blasted the horn. I'm yelling to this family of people on the beach "HELP! I'M SINKING!!!" like what the hell are they gonna do for me...I'm freakin' out..

Just then I see a boat. I blast my horn again...turns out it's my buddy...he got his tank switched over and got there as soon as he could. I hooked my bow line on and threw him the other end...he tied it onto his boat and towed me as quickly as he could to the dock. We get to the dock...I run up to the truck and get the trailer backed in the water.

I get the winch hooked to the bow, locked it and got back in the truck. Start to pull it out and the damn winch comes unlocked!!! "DAMN THIS THING WANTS TO SINK!!!" Back it back in, get out, winch it up, relock it, get back in the truck and get her out of there.

I pulled the drain plug and let the water drain.

The crack ran all the way from the handhole cleanout to the end of the housing where it bolts to the intake! WHAT THE HELL COULD'VE DONE THAT!?

As for what killed the motor...I had the anchor sitting back by the engine. When enough water accumulated in the back, the anchor rope floated over to the pump and the U-Joint driveline grabbed it and it got wrapped around that, killing the engine. OH MY GOD PLEASE DON'T TELL ME I KILLED THE MOTOR!!!

We found someone with a pearing knife and proceeded to cut the rope off. It took us a good 1/2 hour to get it all off...it was wrapped pretty tightly around the driveline. Once we got all of it out I went and turned the key and the motor fired right up. THANK GOD!!!

The next weekend Beerjet and I got on it...when we got the pump apart we figured out what had happened. It could've been prevented had I checked the thrust clearance and seen that it wasn't right...but I didn't do that. Hard lesson learned.
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To err is human, to forgive divine...except for running Fords ;D

F - Found
O - On
R - River
D - Dead

GlassCutter

  • Karma: +31/-0
Re: who has funniest boating story ?
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2007, 07:58:11 PM »
Marc and Chaz story is funnier than shit I gotta admit.  Here's mine

I've been camping & boating since the mid 70's just down river from Water Wheel campground with a group of about 6-12 teenagers and 3 or 4 adults.  One trip when I am about 21 or so all the adults cancel at the last minute. About 8 or us "kids" go anyway with a keg and a lot of ice.  Saturday afternoon we six of us come back from a ski run and beach the boat and proceed to go drinking.  After a few hours someone says "hey where's the boat?"  After a quick head count we determine that everyone is in camp. Ooops no one tied up the boat!!!  One buddy with the only jet ski goes downriver.
He finds the boat over 4 miles downriver.  He has to tie up to the boat and pull it over to the shore. Then he has to hide his ski so he can drive the boat back as you can't tow a stand up with no one on it.  He then motors back to get another rider and we go back and get his ski. The friggin thing had almost made it through all the switchbacks and sandbars in the river and had almost gotten to Red Rooster!!
It would have been really hard to explain to my partner who hadn't come with us how 8 people had all missed seeing our boat float off into the sunset.  :o
  • Boat #1: 1973  Wriedt Montara 23
  • Boat #2: 1978 Spectra 20 460/Berkley
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Also, I will kiss bare male ass in the middle of the Vegas Strip  . . .  I will post pics if I need to.  --  IRRebel 2013

"Go ahead Rivertard does it.  Take a video though."

"If you did it in a dodge it would have shifted perfectly ran a thousand miles per hour and got optimum fuel mileage!"  Nordie  2012

 


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