Found this on the best of Craigslist....  Sorry HDRider..

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the ?Live to ride?ride to live? statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the ?I?m a bad ass motherfucker? harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some ?chapter? like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road.

GT

Thats about it. I've had these "new riders" ask me, "what's that" when they sese my '57. You see a group of riders these days and they could be your dentist, lawyer, accountant or whatever. One good thing that has happened sence all the new riders came along, it keeps the heat off us. I think ALL bikes should be built by the owner and be kick start only, keeps the **** and ladies off 'em. When people say you're always working on it I say it's because I can, you on the other hand have to make reservations at the Hilton and wait four days for Harley to do your $300 oil change.

I love the ones who buy a sportster and next thing you know EVERYTHING they own is Harley, notebooks glasses gloves underwear boots jeans!! they spend more on riding attire than they do the bike!!

I got a kick start!