Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A: Put gas in it.
Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: How much wood could a GM*truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the*Ford*towing it.
Q. How do you make aChevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15
seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said,
"I'll take a set of wiperblades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.
Q. What do you call a Chevyat the top of a hill?
A. A miracle?
Q. What do you call a Chevywith brakes?
A. Customized.
Q. How do you make aChevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.
Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The*tow truck*takes most of the impact.
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two*Fords
Q. What�s the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.
Q. Why are the new GM*trucks*more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.
Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?
Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.
Q. Why are the Chevydealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every*Vehicle*Recalled Over Lousy
Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually
Towed
CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
GMC= Garage Man's Companion
GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company
GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming
GM= General Mistake
GM= Glued Metal
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
our tools would rust.
From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
road. The rest made it home.
Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65,
Chevys-do the
best you can"
Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.
Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the
rest.
I could never keep a Chevyunder me, I was always under the Chevy.
Speed Kills, Drive a Chevyand live forever.
A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
had, how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how
much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat
and said to the young
man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup
at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the
other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back
quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck
too"!
"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."
