No problem with the rant. That's a tough situation bro. Make sure you document everything names,dates,times paper work is always your best friend. Good luck!!


Sent from my iPhone using SoCal Jet Boats

I have never been in your situation, I hate that you are having to deal with this crap..

DO NOT GIVE UP. I don't know if it was fate, divine intervention, or what, but I started work at 2am this morning and when I got home this afternoon and just wanted to veg out in front of the TV for a bit before taking a much needed nap. That being said I was watching Dr. Phil (don't normally do that but the remote was half way across the room LOL) and this is the episode that was on.

http://drphil.com/shows/show/2215

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything comes up roses...

Your a good man Charlie Brown...

GT

Wait... What ? He served you guys a restraining order ? For what ?!

I also think it's bs that he thinks he has a right to the baby when he bailed from the beginning. I agree with gt DO NOT GIVE UP. You've been there for that baby when he didn't want the responsibility. Keep doing what your doing and just be there for your family. In situations like this that's the best thing you can do.

I hope this all goes away for you bud


Sent from my iPhone using SoCal Jet Boats

I'd like to start out by saying I don't mean to be rude or imply anything, I am currently in a very ugly custody battle with my ex.

From someone that has been made out to be "that guy" you don't know the whole story, and never will. There are three sides to every story... When my ex first gave birth we split up, I was trying to see my daughter as much as I could (I was going to school full time and working two jobs). Plus every time would try and pick her she would want to talk and try and get back together with me. I wanted no part of her but wanted to see my daughter. So I got a lawyer, my lawyer actually told me we need to file for the moon and we will settle later. Additionally he told me to stop talking to her, paying for anything, and seeing her... 8 moths later I was grated visitation and worked my way to 50/50.

Fast forward a couple years, my ex abducted our daughter and drove her to Georgia to live out there. Had her a whole month before I was granted temporary 100% custody. Now she has monitor visitation and phone contact, because she decided she was going to "move back out here".

Long story short, documentation is key. Recordings, times, dates, people, places, everything! You can never have to much. Additionally this is not your fight, it is something your girl and her ex need to deal with. You really need to just be supportive and not whined her up about too much.
It looks like you have a great head on your shoulders and understand most of this already, but it won't be over quickly and it is going to be expensive. If in my case I knew the truth was going to come to the surface sooner or later, so we just had to let it play out and do the best I could to raise her. I have had a long time girlfriend through most of this, and she really never commented on any of. She doesn't try and be a mom, she doesn't try to tell me what I should do about things with my ex, she doesn't really even talk about her, she's never even seen or talked to my ex.

Sorry that was a whole lot longer than I meant it to be. There are others going through similar situations, so just remember you aren't alone.


Sent from my iPad using SoCal Jet Boats

I'd like to start out by saying I don't mean to be rude or imply anything, I am currently in a very ugly custody battle with my ex.

From someone that has been made out to be "that guy" you don't know the whole story, and never will. There are three sides to every story... When my ex first gave birth we split up, I was trying to see my daughter as much as I could (I was going to school full time and working two jobs). Plus every time would try and pick her she would want to talk and try and get back together with me. I wanted no part of her but wanted to see my daughter. So I got a lawyer, my lawyer actually told me we need to file for the moon and we will settle later. Additionally he told me to stop talking to her, paying for anything, and seeing her... 8 moths later I was grated visitation and worked my way to 50/50.

Fast forward a couple years, my ex abducted our daughter and drove her to Georgia to live out there. Had her a whole month before I was granted temporary 100% custody. Now she has monitor visitation and phone contact, because she decided she was going to "move back out here".

Long story short, documentation is key. Recordings, times, dates, people, places, everything! You can never have to much. Additionally this is not your fight, it is something your girl and her ex need to deal with. You really need to just be supportive and not whined her up about too much.
It looks like you have a great head on your shoulders and understand most of this already, but it won't be over quickly and it is going to be expensive. If in my case I knew the truth was going to come to the surface sooner or later, so we just had to let it play out and do the best I could to raise her. I have had a long time girlfriend through most of this, and she really never commented on any of. She doesn't try and be a mom, she doesn't try to tell me what I should do about things with my ex, she doesn't really even talk about her, she's never even seen or talked to my ex.

Sorry that was a whole lot longer than I meant it to be. There are others going through similar situations, so just remember you aren't alone.


Sent from my iPad using SoCal Jet Boats

More2Life

I agree 110%. I dont know him, ive never met him, and dont really want to. All i do know is that he is 34, still lives with his mom and doesnt work.

Like i said earlier. I know he has rights, and I for one do not want to keep him from her. I just think hes coming off a little strong in the beginning. Especially when my personal opinion is that he is unfit. Again it is totally Biased and I Personally have no proof.

I know that he is "self-representing" so i know he cant afford a lawyer. Which is whatever we really cant either but are making the sacrifices so we can. I am sorry to hear about what happened to you, that is rough and i cant even imagine being in your shoes.

And i PRAY that he doesnt meet me, find out who i am or anything. I am in the hiring process for riverside county dispatch. All i need is a restraining order against me and lose my chance at a great opportunity

Yeah, he probably got some advise from a couple guys while drinking that he could get more. But I don't know coming from the father side, it is damn near impossible to remove a child from the mothers care.
From what I have been informed, as long as his name is not on the birth certificate he will be given some kind of visitation and it will more than likely be steps into 50/50. They have tiers for different ages, and until they start school it's normally split. When I child starts school it's a different animal.
Or unless you can prove unhealthy or an unsafe living environment. Well if she is with you guys she won't ever look unhealthy because she will be feed and cared for by you guys, and good luck proving an unsafe living environment. There is ways by nine of them are really legal, and most won't hold up in a court of law.

If you guys are getting a lawyer, it's probably the best thing you could do. It is overly expensive so make sure you pick a good one, not the cheapest either. I didn't check where is was you are from by I'm in Orange County and I have a pretty good lawyer. Straighten shooter, knows the law, and most importantly knows a lot of people in the field.

Other than that it sounds like you really know what you're doing, just keep at it and like said over and over again "killing with kindness".



Sent from my iPad using SoCal Jet Boats

Thanks, yeah we will see what happens. And i know its not cheap. Its a long road but we are ready.

I was in a custody Battle for 5 years my ex wife lived  With her parents and my ex mother inlaw was beating and tormenting my daughter she was leaving no bruises and every  Time a called the police. There was nothing i could do so what i did was started documenting every thing. Phone calls time visited. I had my eyes ears open was nice

Sent from my LG-LS980 using SoCal Jet Boats mobile app

And i PRAY that he doesnt meet me, find out who i am or anything. I am in the hiring process for riverside county dispatch. All i need is a restraining order against me and lose my chance at a great opportunity

You should not have any interaction with him.  You are absolutely right!  If he was able to get a restraining order against your girl, he obviously has some contacts.  Don’t allow him to destroy your life with all of the ugliness that is about to happen.

If your girl hasn’t already done so, she should immediately file with the Department of Child Support Services.  Legally, she has every right to receive child support and arrears from the time of birth.  The support of DCSS will be very beneficial to her as well as a permanent thorn in his side.

One thing I didn’t see in the suggestions made to document everything is:  Make sure that she documents every time the child spends the night.  As far as DCSS is concerned, it does not matter if the child spends all day with her and is only taken home right before bed time.  Child support is calculated by the number of nights spent with the parent.  Basically, if the child spends ever day (all day) with the father and only sleeps at the mother’s residence, the father is still liable for child support.