PIRATES ARE THE COOLEST!
from the newsletter i get.
THE POOPDECK The Talk Like A Pirate Day Newsletter
Ol' Chumbucket, editor Published when the fancy strikes
August 11, 2008 Issue No. 53 or thereabouts
www.talklikeapirate.com is the web site..September 19th is international talk like a pirate day.
pirates are cool because......------>
** An Excerpt from "The Pirate Life: Unleashing Your inner Buccaneer"
Our new book, "The Pirate Life: Unleashing Your Inner Buccaneer," will be
released soon by Citadel, a division of Kensington Books. You can order your
copy in advance by visiting our Web site,
www.talklikeapirate.com, and
following the book links to Amazon.
Here's a short excerpt from the opening chapter of this life-changing tome.
Enjoy! (But don't let your enjoyment spill over into taking these words and
passing them off to your friends as your own work. Naturally, all rights are
reserved, "The Pirate Life" is copyrighted, and no one may reproduce them in
any way, shape form or size blah blah blah fullest extent of the blah blah blah
so help us we'll hunt you down and blah blah blah.)
* * * * *
"Chapter One: Why Pirates?
Pirates are cool.
Pirates are cooler than anyone you know – unless you happen to know Samuel L.
Jackson, the coolest person ever, in which case we have a screenplay we’d like
you to pass along to him for us.
For more than 300 years pirates have been our most colorful sources of
entertainment, providing a touchstone for personal freedom, freewheeling
liberty and puffy shirt styles. In books, movies, television and Scooby Doo
cartoons, pirates are cool. Scary – sometimes. Smelly – usually. But always
cool.
Whether you’re a dentist or an insurance agent, whether you study Renaissance
dance in college or drive a diaper delivery truck, your life could use a little
pirating up. Developing the proper pirattitude – the attitude of a pirate –
might be just the thing you need to transform your daily routine into an
adventure. And adventure is just a short hop, skip and a jump from mishap,
mayhem and incarceration in a Caribbean prison, so mind your step. And kids –
stay in school!
Scientific studies that we just made up suggest that no occupation in our
modern world compares to the coolness of being a pirate. Very few occupations
rate even 50 on the Pirate Scale, in which Pirate is 100 points of coolness.
Even the next highest-rated careers, professional wrestler and NASCAR driver,
fall short of the essential coolness of a pirate.
But when the study’s authors (who we also made up out of whole cloth and
rum-addled ravings) added a measured dose of pirattitude (between 10 and 30 ml
per 187 pounds of bodyweight) to the subjects, in every case it boosted other
careers on the Pirate Scale, sometimes to surprising and dangerous levels.
* * * * *
We'll be passing on a few more excerpts in the coming issues of The Poopdeck to
whet your appetite in the hopes that you'll be convinced to pick up a copy or
five.
Next time: A few words from our chapters on dating and diet!
