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IRRebel

  • Karma: +16/-0
With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« on: August 05, 2009, 01:02:07 AM »
Texted a couple of you on this. Been this late tonight dealing with him (rather CONVINCING him) that he is safe.

My Son loved the 21' Beezer as you all know, and you all know what happened to it. Was hard telling him, when he came back home, but he seemd to take it OK. Even joked about it and let me take his picture sticking his face into the blower that's on my kitchen counter going on "His" boat that Terry and I are building. (That was a week ago).

Tonight when I got home he was almost in tears knowing what I was building, not withstanding the other hardware that is going to be quickly underway here in the next two days that he has seen. This will be my first BBC Jet, and yeah, gonna blow it too! Done tripping over it. Anyway, he truly seems scared and won't tell me why. Just that he HATES boats.

Apparently I have scared him BADLY enough with either the HP or the bad driving, or both. I would assume the latter, but I've gotten much better, hopefully some of you can attest. I hope the burning boat is not why.

Yes, I'm about to toss 2 superchargers on two different boats, that will be thoroughly gone through, I am also, at the same time, tossing in a STD marine 460 into the Yellow Sub, with minor upgrades, that I cannot convince him is basically the same hull that the Blue Beezer had and should drive easily the same, even though it's only 18' vs 21'. I had no idea the kid was this scared of this stuff until now.


Ray

PS I think it's more underlying than this, what with Cindy dying, and what might seem to him to be me trying to die, I dunno. Might be more to this than the boats. Where he started out loving working on them and maintaining them has become a quagmire for me.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2009, 10:34:52 AM by IRRebel »
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"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy Shit what a ride!"---Crewcheif22 AKA Keith

Luckie Stiff

  • Karma: +29/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2009, 06:56:26 AM »
Ray-

I'm no professional by any means, but I think you should look into some counseling for the whole family.  It sounds as if RJ has yet to deal with your wife's death and he's transferring that grief into fear, not so much fear of boats per se, but more a fear of the unknown.  How has your daughter taken your wife's death? Has she processed it and moved on? There's a lot going on in a kid's brain, sometimes it takes a counseling session (or 20) to help them process the data they've been given.  In the meantime, don't MAKE him do anything boat related, he'll just grow to resent you and boats, trust me on this one.

Call if you need/want to talk

Skip
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"Don't you realize that there are already enough people in the world to hate without you putting so much effort into giving me another?"

GlassCutter

  • Karma: +31/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2009, 07:38:13 AM »
Ray -- Follow Skip's advice.   Now not later  ;)

These things work out in the end.   You will speed the process with a little professional griefcounseling.

Now counseling for that disease you got (Horsepower Derangement Syndrome) ain't gonna help.   For that, the only cure is gonna be an organ transplant.
You know the kind where a blown Ford comes out and an Oldsmobile goes in   LOL
  • Boat #1: 1973  Wriedt Montara 23
  • Boat #2: 1978 Spectra 20 460/Berkley
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Also, I will kiss bare male ass in the middle of the Vegas Strip  . . .  I will post pics if I need to.  --  IRRebel 2013

"Go ahead Rivertard does it.  Take a video though."

"If you did it in a dodge it would have shifted perfectly ran a thousand miles per hour and got optimum fuel mileage!"  Nordie  2012

IRRebel

  • Karma: +16/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2009, 08:25:06 AM »
Thanks guys. We've actually had a couple sessions. Becca's fine with it and talks about Cin a lot, but RJ doesn't. Might be something right there!

LMAO John, maybe I shoulda started out with Briggs & Strattons.......................

Ray
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"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy Shit what a ride!"---Crewcheif22 AKA Keith

sturat 514

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2009, 09:59:19 AM »
Ray
I know your pain all to well. I am a few months ahead of you and the kids as mine happened in July. My daughter who was 4 at the time and since has turned five is still having a hard time with it all. For the first 5-6 months i could not walk outside without her screaming and crying as she felt i was not going to com back. She thinks er mother died outside and not in the house. This is something that she created not me. I have always been upfront and honest with her about her mother from day one as cold as it sounds i did not sugar coat it and told her that mom was in heaven and she was never coming back and that things would be different from now on. She will talk at times about her mom like remember when ...... It is still hard and I struggle at times myself but i have found that therapy does help her a bit. we are in a program here locally that is set up just for this it is kid driven to help them deal with the loss of a parent.
Like it has been said before you know but sometimes it is good to hear it from other to confirm your thoughts.
He will deal with it on his terms and you can not make him do anything realted to this that he does not want to. It is a long road ahead of both of us and it has it's ups and downs. I never force the issue but when she does want to talk about her mom i drop whatever i am doing and listen. I have even left work to drive home and talk to her as she called crying for her mom.
Him not talking about her is not healthy i do not know if there are prorams in your area like we have here but that seems to help Rylee. She can talk to other kids her age in the same boat (no pun intended) and we know it is easier talking to our peers than our folks about stuff like this

Stuart
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IRRebel

  • Karma: +16/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2009, 10:30:19 AM »
Thanks Stu,

Yeah I know, he's not the opening up kinda kid. Wonder where he gets THAT from, lol. Called around this morning and seems to be a couple programs that might work out. We'll frind out Friday.

As for MY condition, lmao.

Here's what I'm going to pick up tomorrow! (Got rid of one Hallett, in with another I guess!)

Don't look John, it'll make you sick.

http://phoenix.craigslist.org/wvl/boa/1304780778.html

Ray
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"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy Shit what a ride!"---Crewcheif22 AKA Keith

HDriderTH

  • Karma: +12/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2009, 10:39:43 AM »
He'll be ahight. Just tell him he's GOT to have them kevlar shorts before his first race.
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'82 Sanger Bubble deck, Blown 454....V-drive

HDriderTH

  • Karma: +12/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2009, 10:48:45 AM »
Thanks Stu,

Yeah I know, he's not the opening up kinda kid. Wonder where he gets THAT from, lol. Called around this morning and seems to be a couple programs that might work out. We'll frind out Friday.

As for MY condition, lmao.

Here's what I'm going to pick up tomorrow! (Got rid of one Hallett, in with another I guess!)

Don't look John, it'll make you sick.
http://phoenix.craigslist.org/wvl/boa/1304780778.html

Ray















Nice boat, just dont run it till you find out what the "noise" is. May just be the blower or a valve or something. Oh and the twisties definitely GOTS to go.




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'82 Sanger Bubble deck, Blown 454....V-drive

GlassCutter

  • Karma: +31/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2009, 10:57:47 AM »
Now THAT"S what I call THERAPY  Ray-dog !!!


That motor would sure look good in my boat wouldn't it?   ;D    Hmmmmm

Call me in two weeks when you are ready to move onto another project OK?
  • Boat #1: 1973  Wriedt Montara 23
  • Boat #2: 1978 Spectra 20 460/Berkley
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Also, I will kiss bare male ass in the middle of the Vegas Strip  . . .  I will post pics if I need to.  --  IRRebel 2013

"Go ahead Rivertard does it.  Take a video though."

"If you did it in a dodge it would have shifted perfectly ran a thousand miles per hour and got optimum fuel mileage!"  Nordie  2012

IRRebel

  • Karma: +16/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2009, 11:52:05 AM »
Yeah I know huh?   ;D

Actually they're all kinda happening together which is nuts.  :screwy: This thing just looked like a pretty good buy, it'll wait awhile, lol.

Yeah, it'll get ripped down, some new threads, but later. Rest of it looks pretty good! Got these other two here to get done and quickly, lol.

Then I gotta figure which ones I'm keeping after all this crap!

What's wrong with the twisties?  >:D

Ray
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"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy Shit what a ride!"---Crewcheif22 AKA Keith

sturat 514

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2009, 11:59:24 AM »


What's wrong with the twisties?  >:D

Ray
Blower = Zoomies
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HDriderTH

  • Karma: +12/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2009, 12:05:20 PM »
The shortys look a lot more serious. Yea Ray, throw yer zoomies on it! Lets fix it first tho, whens yer next long weekend? Whens the next boat drags in Chandler?
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IRRebel

  • Karma: +16/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2009, 12:37:47 PM »
The Zoomies were kinda earmarked for another dealio y'know.  ;) But they make more every day! The noise police are NOT gonna like dry zoomies around here methinks!

Next long weekends are the end of the month, the Blythe trip, then Labor Day weekend. :thumbup:

Next Boat Drags at Firebird are Nov 19-20.

It'll come together. Have a feeling what's wrong with it, and it's not gonna be pretty, just hope the 512 block is ok. I think the guy just tossed the blower onto the thing not knowing what compression was in it! not good, but he said it was still running and carrying oil pressure when he trailered it, but sounded like a rod knocking by the time he got it back to the marina.

Hopefully someone doesn't show up with the cash before I get out there tomorrow with the greenbacks! I doubt it will. This things further out there than the "other" speshul Chebbie engine I bought was!

Ray
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"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'Holy Shit what a ride!"---Crewcheif22 AKA Keith

Nick

  • Karma: +1/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2009, 04:43:36 PM »
That hallett looks familiar....

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Luckie Stiff

  • Karma: +29/-0
Re: With RJ, Apparently it has sunk in.............
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2009, 05:02:00 PM »
Damn that boat's pretty Nick.
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"Don't you realize that there are already enough people in the world to hate without you putting so much effort into giving me another?"

 


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